‘Short’ man avoids Valentine’s Day out of shame

While many men look forward to getting some action around the Valentine's season, one man says he makes sure he is gone long before that, in part because he doesn't think he 'measures up'.

"Man haffi go through too much pressure when it come round to them time yah, so a man like me just leave if me know me can't manage it," he admitted.

"It's not even about Valentine's Day alone. The sex is a big part a it too, cause man a compete with rose, dildo and other even other man. The woman dem have some unrealistic expectations and we feel pressured fi keep up, so it better fi mek dem go fi what dem want."

The bachelor, who is 43, opined that if men are not well endowed, the women are not interested.

"Me know me nuh have it like that so me know me haffi spend big fi keep certain type a woman. Mi used to do it when mi did inna mi prime and a try keep up, but me stop do that now. If me have a link, it's just a link and me mek sure me leave or nuh ask fi nothing when the time come around." He insisted that he is the one to exit first before Valentine's Day.

"Me leave because mi know what she ago want, and if yuh know yuh woman, you know what she a expect fi get and if yuh can't give her, you leave," he said. The financial consultant said his job makes it easier to stay under the radar.

"Mi mek sure tell dem me nuh celebrate Valentine's, and my job demanding so me deh all over, when dem see me them see me."

To him, the holiday has become more about appearances than genuine connection, as woman want flashy gifts.

"But that a just fi fit in with the media. Most a dem nah do it fi love. It's just fi say dem do something fi Valentine's," the man said.

But clinical sexologist and family therapist Dr Sidney McGill says the behaviour of disappearing men may have less to do with performance and more to do with lifestyle patterns and psychology. He said men ghosting around Valentine's Day is normal.

"The typical thing is that young men up to that age tend to have so much testosterone and because of the culture, as well, they have several women or materially, one after the other, or they have quite a few that they try to service," he explained.

"And I find as they get older, their testosterone declines and they can't keep up with servicing so many women. But at 42-43, I'm not thinking there is a physiological problem for him (the man) because it's not until they get in their 50s they start noticing the decline."

McGill opined that some men who juggle multiple partners thrive on the excitement, but the juggling act becomes a chore as they age. He suggested that while some women suspect their man has other lovers, they ignore it if they are financially dependent on him. Valentine's Day, however, often exposes the juggling act.

"What some of these women experience is the men will call and wish them happy Valentine's and say mother did in the hospital, car broke down or something major happened. They find all kinds of interesting stories to tell, and then make up for it," he said.

Addressing the insecurity expressed by the consultant, McGill stressed that self-doubt -- not size -- is often the real issue.

"If he is concerned that he has short genitals then the thing to do is to work things out where he does not feel as if nature gave him a bad number," he said.

"If you're in love with a woman who's in love with you, then work things out, but he puts himself under so much stress because already he is pressuring himself that he has a deficiency in the sexual area. But then he has all these women which compounds all the problems he's having sexually."

He said many couples successfully navigate such concerns through communication and intimacy-building.