I wish I could marry my cousin

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I read your column every day. When I was 16 years old, I had sex with my 20-year-old cousin.

I always liked him. He was tall and of light complexion, like myself. We used to fool around a lot. One day he asked me for sex and I told him I never engaged in the act. I told him that my birthday was coming up, and if he had the money, he could buy me a cell phone for my birthday and I would give him sex in return. He said that would be no problem at all. He was working, so I knew he could find the money.

My parents have decided to have a small sweet 16 birthday party for me and I told him about it. He bought the cell phone, but couldn't bring it to the party because he did not want everybody to know that it was coming from him. The party was on a Friday night, so we decided to go out the following day. He told me about a place that guys take girls. I never heard about that place. He gave me money to buy dark glasses, so that I would appear older than my age.

We went to this place and he paid for the room and we went in. My parents taught that I was with school friends. This man paid for four hours. He took a long time to get me into the mood because I was scared. He showed me the phone and I was so excited. He played with my tits, and you know what else. He told me that I would never forget him because of our sexual encounter.

When I took the cell phone home, I told my parents that my school friends put money together and bought me the phone for my birthday.

To this very day, I love my cousin to my heart. I have a child for another man. I am now living in Canada. I wish I could marry my cousin. He speaks to me all the time on the phone, and he tells me that I am special.

My cousin is now married and sometimes I dream about him. I am not married, but he always encourages me to get married because by getting married, I will get over him. My child's father is a nice man, but he is nothing like my cousin.

K.

Dear K.,

You should be glad that your cousin did not get you pregnant when both of you had sex. Your parents trusted you, so they really believe that it was your school friends who bought you the phone.

You should try and get your cousin out of your mind. He has moved on and he is telling you to move on. Put what you have done behind you.

Try and do your best to get a career. I wish you well.

Pastor