I want to get married … but my boyfriend is not ready

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I will be leaving university next year. It is always my intention to get married soon after leaving university. I have been dating a man and I told him that I would like to get married. He knows that I have gone out on different dates with different guys. 

He is 26 years old and he cannot give me a reason for not wanting to marry me. I really love this man. He is a gentleman. He comes from a good family. He does not gamble or smoke and he does not drink, although he will have a beer occasionally. He is not a womaniser either, so he is my choice as a life partner. 

My mother got married when she was 18, and my father and mother love each other. I am not rushing this guy, but he cannot give me any reason for not wanting to marry me. How can I convince him that I am ready to walk down the aisle with him? 

A.

Dear A.,

You may feel that you are ready to get married and this is the particular guy that you would like as your husband. He is not saying that he will not marry you; he is only suggesting that you date other guys until he is ready. Perhaps he does not feel that he is mature enough to take care of a wife, although you believe that he is mature. 

You believe that you are mature enough. There need not be an argument between the both of you. 

Don’t pressure him to marry you. Do exactly what he suggested; go out on dates with other guys, but you know that you would not marry them. If you raise the matter about marriage with this guy, you may drive him away. 

Pastor